Newsletter

Before I came to the Mission, it felt like my life was falling apart underneath me. It happened slowly over many years, then all at once, but the truth is the unraveling actually started when I was a child. I grew up carrying wounds I couldn’t understand or express in words. There were people who should have protected me but chose not to, which led me to believe I had to handle things on my own. I started to think I wasn’t worthy of being fully seen or loved, and I carried that pain into every part of my life.

As I grew older, I searched for love and a sense of worth in relationships, but each one fell apart. I poured myself completely into three different relationships, yet each ended in devastation. Each man in these relationships passed away, leaving me with profound heartbreak. In the process, I lost myself. I was always trying to be enough, trying to fix things, trying to hold my life together, but each time I ended up more broken than before. It only confirmed what I already believed—that I was too damaged, too much, or simply not enough.

By the time I arrived at the Rescue Mission, I was spiritually numb. I believed in God, but I felt like He wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I felt like I was too far gone. To cope, I tried to bury my pain beneath addiction, chaos, and isolation. I kept a smile on the outside, but inside I was drowning in guilt, shame, anger, and grief. I was exhausted—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I had nothing left to give; I was losing myself completely. I knew I couldn’t go on living like that; something in my life had to change.

In 2024, during my incarceration, my cellmate mentioned that she wanted to go to the Rescue Mission. My children were living with my mom and sister in Macon at the time. I knew I needed help and that I couldn’t do it on my own, so the Mission seemed like the perfect place to begin.

At the Rescue Mission, I finally admitted that I couldn’t do it on my own and needed help. I couldn’t keep faking it anymore. I needed God to meet me where I was and rebuild me from the inside out. I felt nervous at first, like anyone making a life change would, but the Mission is full of love and grace. You can truly feel it when you walk through the doors. Serving the community and feeding those in need has been the most meaningful part of my time here so far. It’s more than just handing out food; it’s personal. I know all too well what it feels like to be on the streets, hungry and hopeless, and serving others in that way humbled me.

Being surrounded by people who understand addiction, have lived through it, and are walking this journey with me has been incredibly powerful. The staff and residents – my sisters in Christ – have spoken truth into my life, helping me see what I couldn’t see on my own. Since coming here, my relationship with God has grown in ways I never imagined. I used to try to control everything, but here, I’ve learned to surrender and lay it all down at the feet of Jesus. I’ve also experienced His grace in real, tangible ways.

One day, I remember sitting on my bed crying like a baby and finally saying, “God, I can’t do this on my own. A heart change, a mindset change, a life change – I need you to take over.” It was in this moment of raw, genuine surrender that my turning point began. I’ve learned how to ask for help, something I once viewed as a weakness, but now I see it as a strength. I am spiritually grounded and have developed new, healthy coping skills.

I’ve learned to sit with my feelings in a healthy way, rather than hiding from them, and I’ve also learned to be honest with myself, others, and God. My mindset has shifted. I’m no longer just surviving; I’m learning how to truly live. e person I am now is very different from the one who walked through the Mission’s doors. I still have work ahead of me, but my struggles no longer limit me. I’m proud that I have chosen to face the truth— about myself and my past— without running or numbing anymore.

I’m most proud of the journey I’ve started with my kids here at the Rescue Mission. I was gone for seven years while struggling with addiction, and now I’m a full-time mom again. Now, I see life as a gift, not a burden. Every part of each day is something to be grateful for. I no longer take peace, people, or second chances for granted. A er graduation, I plan to continue my journey at the Mission in Aftercare and stay connected in every way I can. I hope to and a job to support my family, and I would love to work at the Mission someday if possible.

To me, the Mission is the hands and feet of Jesus. It is love. It is grace. It is restoration. The Rescue Mission is like chicken soup for your soul. Choosing to come here has been the best decision I have ever made in my life.

Click here to download the October 2025 issue of The Mission Bell.